Tonight I sit alone on the 23rd floor of my residence hall. As I had some much needed time with my Savior, I found myself asking what seemed to be an unusual request.
“Holy Spirit, fill me with a burning & passionate hatred.”
(Uh.. that can’t be Biblical.. can it?)
Well here’s the thing. When you’re exposed to this type of lifestyle each & everyday, sometimes you start to turn a blind eye to all the sin that surrounds you. You hear people talking about how this is college & it’s supposed to be the best years of your life, so of course they’re going out tonight. Or how drunk they got last weekend & how they went from being sober to blacking out in a matter of a few seconds (or at least what seemed to them to be a few seconds). You see girls wearing clothes that are basically begging for the opposite gender to stumble. Or people wearing shirts that say, “It’s just sex.”
We hear these things & see these things, & sometimes our reaction is to shake our head. Sometimes it’s to bash on people or label them with not-so-nice words. Sometimes it’s even to laugh.
The Lord has been convicting me lately, reminding me with few words: “These are my children.”
As a follower of Jesus, I don’t want to be okay with these things. Our God is a God of love, yet there is one thing He hates: sin. If I am striving to be like Jesus, why do I not hate sin? Why does it not absolutely disgust me & make me sick to my stomach?
At the same time, I want to make sure that it’s the sin I’m hating and not the people, never the people. (“For our struggle is not against flesh & blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, & against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” –Ephesians 6:12.) I want to display to them an unconditional love that they’ve never experienced before. A love that loves them right through their sin to the very core of who they are. I want to love God’s children the way He commands me to love them.
It has been so crazy to see the way the Lord is changing my perspective. Maybe those people who get drunk every weekend are insecure & just trying to find acceptance somewhere in this world. Maybe those girls who wear minimal clothing have a deeply unattended desire for someone to love them. Maybe every single person I walk past on campus is fighting a battle I know nothing about.
I’m tired of being numb to this world. I want to hate sin with a never-ceasing passion. I want to hate it for the same reason our God hates it: it keeps Him from His precious & treasured children. & I want to love the broken people caught in the sin.
& of course there’s my own sin. None of this is to say that I am without sin, because let me tell you, I struggle. I am a sinful & broken mess-of-a-person. I want my sin to disgust me so much it makes me run after my Savior even harder.
With all this being said, these are the reasons the cry of my heart has become, “Break my heart for what breaks Yours.”