I Surrender All

Tonight as I sat in my dorm room alone, I welcomed the Holy Spirit to join me, & join me He did. Thought after thought ran its course through my mind as I considered the past few weeks &, as I have been doing more often than not recently, the future course that this life will follow. Trying to make sense of all of these thoughts, a picture began to take form in my mind. Let me try to help you understand my thinking:

Imagine yourself walking along, minding your own business when all of a sudden you happen upon a small box with your name written on a tag attached to it. As anyone else would, you pick it up & begin investigating. Your eyes widen as the realization of what this box is sets in. Although you know what the box is, you do not even begin to understand the power that lies within it. This box has the power to change lives, every single life it comes in contact with, even if for only a second. This box has the ability to end slavery, hunger, depression, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, rage, bitterness, addiction. This box has the ability to stop the ever-increasing number of orphans, of hurting high schoolers, of human slaves, of child exploitation.

You so desperately desire to unleash all these powers & abilities upon the world, to show the world the love, joy, & peace that come from this box, & to allow this box to be all that it was meant to be. However, you can’t. You don’t know how. You don’t know how to open the box. & even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to initiate these powers & abilities. You become frustrated & confused, because all you want is to allow this box to do all that it was meant to do.

But then, you see him. Slowly rocking back & forth in a rocking chair just to the left of you, you see the creator of the box. He knows. He knows how to open the box. He knows how the box works. Although it may be embarrassing to admit you don’t know how to open it, although you run the risk of others discovering your ignorance about the box, although you could sit by & decide not to do anything about the box, you slowly carry the box to him. You stumble over your words as you try to choose the right ones, not wanting to sound too naive.
“This box… I know it belongs to me. I know it’s mine. But uh.. well, I don’t exactly know how it works. I don’t know what you want me to do with it — I am so inadequate. So incapable of using this box correctly. If… if you leave it to me, it’ll be ruined & wasted by the time I’m done with it. But you, you are the creator. You know all there is to know about it. The only option I have is to give it back to you. To allow You to take control & to unleash all that is within. You are able.”

You’re not quite sure how he’s going to respond, but then a beautiful, heart-warming smile creeps across his face. It’s a smile of reassurance as you know you’ve done what you needed to do. He gently puts his strong yet soft hand on your shoulder as he assures you that He will take care of everything. As a peace resonates within your soul, you start to buckle down & prepare yourself for the ride, because you know that what’s ahead is going to be absolutely mind-blowing.

As I think about my future, I so desperately want to become all that the Lord has intended for me to become & to accomplish all that He’s set out for me to accomplish. As Aerosmith puts it, I don’t want to miss a thing. Every life has potential to change the world. It all depends on who you decide to entrust it to: yourself or its Creator. & for this reason, I say to my Lord & Savior, “I surrender all.”

P.S. It is so important for all of us to remember that living a surrendered life isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a conscious choice you make every single day.

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2 thoughts on “I Surrender All

  1. Wow. This is beautiful. And you made me cry… big surprise I know. It is so moving not only because of how beautifully it is written, but because of how wise beyond your years you really are. And as your big sister, that just makes me so proud… proud enough to move me to tears. You inspire me. I honestly find myself at a loss for words, but I just want to reach out and tell you how much I love you, that I am so proud of the amazing woman of God that you are, and that I know you are going to do AMAZING things. Keep seeking Him, keep trusting Him, and you are going to change the world.

    ps. nice aerosmith quote… I’m sure it made Trenton proud. 🙂

    • Aww Heidi.. Thank you so much! You are amazing, & I wouldn’t be who I am today without you, so you can just give yourself a pat on the back. I love you so much!

      Thanks, I thought so too 😉

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